Okorocha: 5 things Governor's 'Commissioner for Happiness' should do for Imo

It appears Governor Okorocha is trying to drown the Imo people in happiness.

Imo State governor, Rochas Okorocha, cannot seem to stay out of the news cycle.

The man has been a mainstay in political reportage over the past two months for what most would consider to be the wrong reasons.

His controversial streak hit a new high when he unveiled a bronze-cast statue of South African president, Jacob Zuma, in October, earning scorn home and abroad.

When he announced the list of new commissioners to his cabinet on Monday, December 4, 2017, the governor made one bizarre appointment that's had Nigerians raising their eyebrows in bemusement.

The governor appointed his sister, Ogechi Ololo, as the commissioner for a newly-created Ministry of Happiness and Couples' Fulfillment.

 

This one has had a lot of Nigerians scratching their heads as Mrs Ololo's roles have not been clearly defined by the state government.

In the absence of any concrete outlining of the role of the Commissioner for Happiness and Couples' Fulfillment, here are a few suggestions on what we believe she should do to make Imo State the happiest place in the world.

1. Arrest and prosecute home breakers

As someone responsible for the fulfilment of married couples in Imo, the new commissioner is burdened with making sure that marriages don't break up for any reason.

Since infidelity is a major reason why a lot of divorces happen, the commissioner has to be forward-thinking in getting rid of the problem.

To keep the divorce rate down, outside forces trying to fornicate with married folks should be arrested and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

The married folks should, of course, be left out of it because charging them to court might affect their marriage and result in lack of fulfilment.

Do everything possible to make sure people stick to their marriage vows, Madam Commissioner.

2. Regulate extra-marital affairs

If Plan A fails, Plan B should be making sure any married spouse trying to engage in extra-marital activities is helped by the ministry to have a successful one that doesn't break their marriage.

If a little extra-marital fling is going to help a couple's relationship not break up, Madam Commissioner should be willing to formulate a way to help adulterers cheat without getting caught by their significant other.

As long as the most important thing is that couples stay fulfilled in their marriages, the end justifies the sordid means.

ALSO READ: 7 times Governor Okorocha has baffled Nigerians

 

3. Create bogus public holidays

Despite the groans about the economic implications of excessive public holidays in the country, the average Nigerian enjoys the occasional work-free day.

To make Imo residents happy, the Commissioner should find every avenue to create extra public holidays for whatever reasons she can make up.

Here are a few helpful suggestions: I Want You to be Happy Day, Festival of Sleep Day, Sweetest Day, Abundant Electricity Day, Make Your Dreams Come True Day, Compliment Day, Statue Day, Say Something Nice Day, Holiday Day.

4. Make her brother pay workers' salary on time

While Governor Okorocha enjoys the spectacle of giant Christmas trees and statues that cost quite a fortune, paying workers in the state isn't as prompt as it should be.

A little bit of research has indicated that people can be extremely happy when they're paid wages that they've worked for at the appropriate time.

So, in her new position as Commissioner for Happiness, the bar is so low that Mrs Ololo doesn't even have to do that much to make Imo residents happy; just make sure her brother pays salaries on time.

ALSO READ: Okorocha's happiness commissioner proves how clueless he is

5. Distribute laughing gas to residents

Nigeria is generally a hard place to live in, so maybe all of these would still not be enough to make Imo residents be the most cheerful people on earth.

If all else fails, the commissioner should deploy laughing gas statewide so that everyone can wear a cheery face regardless of whatever rot they're going through. After all, Nigeria is the home of cosmetic fixes.

We're rooting for you Madam Commissioner!

Source: Pulse News
Okorocha: 5 things Governor's 'Commissioner for Happiness' should do for Imo

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